#37 Liking Father's Day Gifts

*First of all, Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Without you, these characteristics wouldn't be associated with all the glory that comes with fatherhood*

"Happy Father's Day Dad!" You exclaim excitedly this morning as Dad is mumbling himself awake. Every other morning, Dad is up and chipper before you, but somehow each Father's Day, you are wide awake before him as Dad attempts to sleep in as this is his day. "Open your gifts!"

Dad opens the cards and reads each word carefully as you sit in your pjs anxiously waiting for the gifts to be unwrapped. You spent hours trying to find the perfect gift but nothing made sense for you to get Dad, so you ended up with a prank t-shirt/mug/tie/apron. Dad has to pretend to like my gift, so let's see him fake this one. Dad opens the funny tshirt stating "#1 Dad 2011" or "World's Greatest Dad" with an arrow pointing straight up at him. It's a cheesey gift that is appropriate for Father's Day and never again. So job well done...

Except...DAD LOVES IT! The classic Dad move in this scenario is he immediately puts the shirt/tie/button on and refuses to take it off. For the formal dinner tonight to celebrate, will Dad be wearing a suit? Nope, he'll be wearing his new favorite tshirt in order to show the world his rank of Dads on this day. And it just so happens that your crush will be at this dinner and Dad is waitingly ready to embarrass you by declaring his love for the gift you got him. Don't try to tell Dad to quiet down, because that just makes things worse as he is entitled to do and say anything today because it is his day. Even on Father's Day, Dad doesn't hesitate to embarrass you, but only this time you brought it upon yourself trying to outsmart Dad with a witty gift. Maybe next year you'll just get him the latest bottle opener from Sharper Image.

#32 Gifts for you that Dad wants

"Here, open mine!" Dad proclaims. Dad's knees clatter with excitement and his upper body flails like yours after one too many pixie sticks. You start to untie the ribbon of the present Dad got you. The wrapping was obviously done by mom, but this present was especially picked out for you by Dad. You remove the box and there before you sits a present that you don't fully comprehend.

"You like it?"

Classic Dad. Dads tend to get their kids a gift that the kid doesn't necessarily want, but rather Dad buys it so he can relive his childhood or try out the latest toy without feeling guilty. These gifts range from Train sets, Legos, complex model airplanes meant for an age group you're not part of, to even Easy Bake ovens (this way Dad can sneak in brownies without mom knowing). Sometimes the gifts are too random to even make sense: a new bed comforter, a matching belt, or next year's social studies book and Brain Quest set.

"Oh...thanks Dad. I love it."

"LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS" Dad quickly takes the present out of the box for a demonstration for all to see. Forget instructions, Dad has already memorized them at the toy store when the cashier demonstrated the gift in the first place. The demonstration continues to a round of out of rhythm applause while people scan the room for the birthday cake. "See! It's not only fun, but practical!"

You thank Dad with a big hug and set the present down with the others. At the end of the party you shove all the presents at the foot of your bed and lay down because your sugar high is finally wearing off. *Knock knock* "Want me to show you more of what that present can do?

I can tinker with it to make sure it runs right." Dad passively asks as he is already digging through the present pile. "Go ahead Dad, knock yourself out."

You've never seen that gift again.