Thursday, September 1, 2011

#48: Grilling

In honor of the impending Labor Day, we are going to delve into one of the most Dad things a Dad can do. With the end of summer approaching, no doubt we have all enjoyed the long days and the warm weather. One of the best ways to celebrate summer is with grilling. Dads love to grill because, to be honest, it is one of the few ways they know how to prepare food. Dad will prepare a smorgasbord of meats piled high on your plate with no room for vegetables of course. Veggies have no room on Dad’s grill.

Dad actually does have a vast knowledge of grilling. He knows when the coals are ready (about as long as it takes to drink one beer), when to flip the burger/chicken/steak (half of a beer), and how hot the grill should be (makes the beer can sweat). That is why Dad loves to grill so much, he does not need a stupid egg timer what is he doing, baking a cake? NO, Dad is cooking animal meat and he needs precision timing to make everything work. Dad insists that the beer drinking method is infallible.

Dad can also grill on anything remotely resembling a grill. Whether it is propane, charcoal, oak, cherry, or any other type of wood, Dad can handle it. True Dads can even make their own grill in dire circumstances such as tailgating for football games. In a pinch, Dad can make a grill out of a bowl and the side of a shopping cart. Is Dad MacGyver? No, he is just a man on a mission to cook some meat. However, Dad is in a constant arms race with his friends to have the best grill. At a cookout a Dad powwow will always form around the grill where Dads discuss the size of the grill, how hot it can get, what accessories the grill has, and of course they will swap grilling techniques. Watching such a meeting of the minds on the scale of the Yalta Conference can be a harrowing experience.

Be sure to enjoy these last days of summer because before you know it your days will be cold and dark and filled with math homework. Watch Dad and talk with him about grilling because he will be happy to teach you how to sear a good steak. In order to truly appreciate Dadhood, you need to know how to grill. So pop open a cold beverage and appreciate the long weekend ahead with a plate of burgers, bratwurst, and no non-meats whatsoever. Except for mayonnaise soaked potato salad and baked beans of course.

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