Dads may be men of other worldly strength and the greatest athletes you’ve ever witnessed in person but even Dad’s get injured.
And yes, everyone gets injured. You’ve broken a bone or cut a hand when handing scissors the wrong way. But when Dads get injured, they are chronic and FOR LIFE. These injuries are minor and most people with a tolerance of pain would ignore them. NOT DAD.
These injuries are to be publicized and displayed. Banged your knee on something? KNEE BRACE. Twisted ankle? WALKING BOOT. Strained shoulder? SHOULDER SLING. Sore back? ICY HOT…because Shaq said so.
Dad uses these injuries to his advantage. They allow him to rest so he can fall asleep anywhere, watch golf all day (even the replay), and avoid giving you piggyback rides. Dad even avoids eating at the table because his back makes it so he can’t get up.
Meanwhile, you have a 102 degree fever and have to go to school…because it’s good for you.