Thursday, September 13, 2012

#103: Out of Date College Sweatshirts

Fall is just around the corner and that means one thing in this writer's mind. No not apple cider, falling leaves, and the death of every mosquito. I am talking college football, the greatest sport invented by human or alien technology. Most Dads out there went to a school with a decent football team, or at least follow one because their Dad took them to games. Or they just made up a reason to like a school (much like 99.99% of Notre Dame fans). Dad shows his loyalty on gameday by drinking beer, sitting on the couch, and calling the starting quarterback a stud every time he gains a yard. But Dad has to look the part as well and that is by wearing his Out of Date College Sweatshirt.

Much like Sweater Vests and Really Old Sweatpants Dad likes his casual apparel to be comfortable and slightly awkward. The OoDCS covers both attributes perfectly as the sweatshirt is worn in it fits like a glove but so old that it still has the racist mascot on the front (RIP Chief Illiniwek). It is to the point that Dad has to remind people what school he represents because no one recognizes the logo or mascot name. Or because it is covered in so many holes and/or grease from former tailgates it is held together by burger fat and not stitching. That is the mark of a true fan.

So embrace college football season. Go out and enjoy grilling in a parking lot, travel by plane to see a bunch of college kids beat the crap out of each other for your entertainment, pick a fight with a rival fan. But most of all rep your school hard by buying a great sweatshirt. Believe me, it will last you forever. And then you can be that Dad wearing a ratty sweatshirt supporting a school that stopped playing football 25 years ago. But dammit, they were a hell of a team back then.

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