Tuesday, May 17, 2011

#30 Sweater Vests

In order to be a Dad, one has to act like a Dad but more importantly one has to look like a Dad. The staff here at That’s So Dad have discussed at length the virtues of White New Balances, braided leather belts, sandals with socks, bathrobes and other apparel that shows to the world “I am a Dad, I want to look good.” One foundation of Dad fashion that must be recognized is that solid rock of upper body clothing. It can be worn any time of the year and for any occasion. From office parties to Sunday brunch, and from little league games to tax preparation the sweater vest is always an appropriate option for Dad.

Sweater vests are great because they provide Dad with some warmth on a cool fall day, but provide him with a free range of motion to do Dad activities like fixing things in the garage, also known as escaping from the family to drink some beer and performing minor repairs on the house. The versatility of the sweater vest is unparalleled due to its resistance to wear and tear and never ending pattern and color choices. Solid colored sweater vests are the most common and are used in many casual situations. Dad always has a sweater vest in the color of his alma mater that he wears while yelling at said alma mater’s football team on the TV. He also has various striped and checkered sweater vests to adapt to certain situations.

The most notable sweater vest is also the most ugly; The Christmas Sweater Vest. A distant cousin to the Ugly Christmas Sweater, Dad busts the UCSV out only once a year: when the family is hosting the family Christmas party. Dad does not wear it ironically; he actually thinks it looks good on him. You groan as you watch Dad belting Christmas carols, working on his fifth glass of eggnog, and rocking the UCSV. Dad does not care though, because he is rocking the sweater vest and looks damn good while doing it.

The sweater vest is the most timeless of apparel in a Dad’s wardrobe. Every occasion calls for a sweater vest in his mind. The most famous example is Jim Tressel, the head football coach for the Ohio State Cheaters. The man is always strolling the sidelines wearing a classic solid colored scarlet or gray sweater vest. The man wants to look his best when coaching, and he knows the only way to do it is with the sweater vest, the main weapon in Dad’s closet.

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