Sunday, May 1, 2011

#27 Chaperoning Field Trips

Bagged lunch, check. Walking shoes, check. Sweatshirt tied around waist, check. Permission slip, check. This is the checklist you and Dad run through the morning of the science museum field trip. You've been waiting for it for weeks now. Not only are you excited to see if your hair really does stick up upon touching that magnetic ball like in the commercials, but this time Dad is chaperoning. You won't have to be crammed in smelly Billy's car or in the middle of the backseat of Katie's car where there isn't a designated seat belt. This time you'll be in Dad's car.

Now mom has been a chaperone a few times, but Dad's chaperoning skills are much better. Of all the times Dad embarrasses you by trying to be a "cool Dad," this is the one area where it will work. Dad enjoys chaperoning because although you kids are hectic, it gets him out of the office with a valid excuse.

Mrs. _______ (insert your teachers name here) announces your car. Dad makes sure he has the directions and boom its a footrace to the automobile. "Buckle up everyone, you're in for a bumpy ride" Dad lets out to his first successful round of laughs. On the way there, Dad lets you guys choose the radio station. Another cool point for Dad.

At the science museum that has the cool local name that every kid knows, Dad's cool points only increase. Not only is he participating in every activity ("It was so funny when your Dad's hair stuck up because he has that bald spot!" Sam couldn't hold it in anymore), but Dad knows everything about everything in the museum! 12th grader tour guide, take a seat, my Dad knows more than you do.

Dad gathers everyone together with an hour left for one last exhibit and a round at the giftshop. Dad sees everyone fading. They need a pick me up. Dad ponders. Time for him to shine on the drive home. "Dad you missed the turn for school." "The Field Trip Continues!" Dad exclaims as you turn into 7-11. Each person in your car becomes loaded with Cheetos, Sour Patch kids, and of course the infamous multi-colored/flavored slurpee. You all strut back into class as if you're celebrities. You can feel every other kids jealousy as they see your blue tongue and cheeto filled cheeks. "Your Dad is the coolest!" quiet Kim states with Dad overhearing. It is these statements that makes Dad excited to chaperone next month for the trip to the petting zoo.

1 comment:

  1. so obsessed with the writing slash topic. brings back too many memories of going to the pumpkin patch or some historical reenactment settlement or a chicago play with my group of all the juvenile delinquents in my class because my dad was always the only guy chaperone. so it'd be me (goody two shoes) and the bad boys club. i'd be dusting off the perfect pumpkin and they'd be kicking them in yelling "GUTSSSSSSSSSS!"...I'd be trying to snap a pic of abe lincoln and they'd be setting up a table pushover (you know where one guy gets on all fours behind someone and another dude pushes him back causes a big spill...)...I'd be bright-eyed after an enchanting performance of "A Christmas Carol" and someone from my group would ask something inappropriate during the post-show q and a like, "How are you so ugly and an actress?" .

    All my dad had to do was give them a look and they'd stop--he had, after all, calmly told each of us before the trip's jump-off: "I'll hang you by your toenails if you act up in the slightest way." get em dad.