Wednesday, February 9, 2011

#8 Beating you at Sports

You've been practicing for weeks now. There's no way you can lose. Your friends can't touch your skills and even coach has commented on how much you've improved. "Maybe now you can take your old man on" Dad says. It's on like Donkey Kong.

You've heard about the passing of the torch. How that moment when you beat Dad culminates, earth stands still, and Dad bittersweetly is proud of you.
This is a myth.

Dads don't get beaten by their kids. Dad knows your weak spots: that you can't swim breast stroke, that you can't go left on your layup, or that you can't resist the high fastball. Dad isn't afraid to take advantage of this. Watch out for his skyhook, his ability to hit the ball over 400ft (okay to the edge of the grass but that's a long way away), or throw the ball the length of the football field.
You stand there in disbelief. How did I lose? Dad doesn't even workout. Dad just stares back with his grin hidden under his mustache. "Good game. Now let's go home for dinner." Dad says. Just like that, you realize Dad is the greatest athlete ever.

Sucks Dad's "back problems" prevented him from going pro. Those same "back problems" also caused him to retire before you could challenge him one more time.

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