Thursday, January 31, 2013
#123: Early Morning Jogging
Dads have a busy life. Between work, coaching Little League, and falling asleep at the mall, Dads have to maximize every minute of the day. And when you have to get up early for work and then afterwards do Dad things, when does he ever have time for exercise? That is where Early Morning Jogging comes in.
Dad has to be in the office at 9AM, which means he should be up significantly before that to shower, shave, go to the bathroom which in turn has that lingering Dad smell the rest of the day, eat some bran cereal, and commute. But in Dad logic, he will get up even earlier (like 5AM) to jog. It is a weird subculture but Dad loves it because he gets exercise, cool (or subzero depending on the season) fresh air, and he can wear all his favorite clothes without mom yelling at him because no one else is out that early jogging except other Dads. He can wear his tube socks, ratty old college shirt, fanny pack (to carry the Walkman he has had since before you were born), those 20 year old sweatpants, and many other Dad-attire without mockery. White New Balance shoes go without saying... Have you ever had to get up really early to go to the airport? Dads out jogging everywhere. It is an army of balding heads and soft knee braces.
Dad does the same loop of the neighborhood he has done for years, combining flat stretches with hilly terrain to work those legs. He always runs in the street to minimize injury and maximize getting hit by a car. He always comes home when you are having breakfast for school and WILL be covered in sweat no matter what the season or weather. You think that's rain on his forehead because it is pouring outside? Its definitely all sweat.
It is tough maintaining the temple that is a Dad's body. Between the cereal for dinner and the evening beer, he has to combine this healthy diet with a mildly difficult workout regimen so he can be stronger than you and continue his win streak in HORSE. He is just a competitive guy who wants to prove who is the king of the house.