Thursday, June 21, 2012

#91: The Fanny Pack

Now that summer is in full swing and the kids are out of school, families around the country will be taking trips all over the place. From New York and Chicago to those poor planning parents who thought Disney World in August was a great idea it will be quite a battle. The main concern for any Dad on these trips is that he needs to bring the essentials but also extra materials for Dadness. Extra film, sunscreen, clip on lenses for his glasses, extra thick white socks for his sweaty feet it all needs to go somewhere. The problem is Dad has a limited amount of pockets and a backpack hurts the ole bulging disk from high school football. The solution: FANNY PACK.

Fanny packs are frowned upon by society because they are considered outdated and corny. Dads don’t care because it is functional, easy on the body to carry, and to them it looks just plain cool. His kids of course are embarrassed when Dad wears the fanny pack, but as we all know that is one of Dad’s primary motives in life: embarrassment. 

When Dad digs around in his fanny pack, it is revealed to be an infinitely deep recess of storage much like Hermione Granger’s magical bag from Harry potter. Dad can go elbow deep into the thing and in one swoop pull out the parking stub to the car as well as the half melted Snickers bar he hid from mom because he is “on a diet”. The fanny pack is a magical item in its own right.

So when you see a family that is not from town (believe me they are easy to spot) be sure to look for Dad’s fanny pack. As the strong paternal unit he is often saddled with being the packmule of the trip. Any experienced Dad worth his salt knows that stowage is a premium and the virtues of wearing a fanny pack are as necessary as gravity. Such is the life of a Dad on a family trip.

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