Thursday, March 28, 2013
#131: Telling Bedtime Stories
The dreaded time is nigh. Dinner is done, homework is finished Ugh, TWO worksheets is wayyyy too much work, and you are relaxing watching some TV at the end of the day. But it is shattered by those awful words uttered by mom, "Alright, it's bedtime! Go get ready for bed." UUUGGGHHHHHH. You shuffle off to take a brush your teeth, pretend to floss, and put on your PJs. It might as well be torture to get ready for something you don't want to do. How come mom and Dad get to stay up late? When I grow up I am going to stay up allllll night! But there is one good pre-sleeping activity: Dad is going to tell a bedtime story!
Bedtime stories are when Dad can get really creative. His audience is riveted, hanging on every word, ready to take on every twist and turn of action. Dad uses funny voices, sound effects, hand gestures, audience participation, and everything short of CGI to create entertainment. I can't imagine what its like when Michael Bay tells bedtime stories, it's probably filled with asteroids, the White House exploding, and huge robots teaching lessons about how they got powerful by eating their veggies at dinner. Of course, all of Dads stories are "true". From the time he fought off ninjas to the time he dug to the center of the Earth. Sure he may have just wandered into a small cave once, but that won't stop him from talking about the mole people he met ten miles below the surface. Is there anything Dad can't do???
Dad usually cuts it off after 20 minutes or so, mostly because he is out of material for the night. It is hard to BS a monologue like that, but Dad has a true talent. The ultimate goal is for his kid to be out cold, but that usually is not the case. If worse comes to worse, at least he kept his kid from complaining about going to sleep for just a little longer.