Thursday, December 22, 2011

#64: Terribly Wrapped Gifts

Awaking before the sun is up, you rub your eyes and look at your Advent Calendar and cannot believe what you are seeing. IT CAN’T BE! IT IS FINALLY CHRISTMAS!!! The greatest of all days is finally upon you. All those days of acting good for Santa, the infinite stretching of time as the big day inches closer, the impossibility of sleep on Christmas Eve have all lead to this moment. Waking up your parents you dash downstairs to ground zero, the holiest of holies: the Christmas Tree.

The beautiful bounty of gifts awaits you in all its shining glory. You see that most gifts are from Santa and then there are some from mom and some from Dad, the parents have to help out Santa of course. The gifts from Santa are wrapped exquisitely, perfect folds and use of ribbon. They are sealed tighter than the vaults at Fort Knox. It is a fully fledged effort to find the seam so they can be ripped apart to reveal their fruits. mom’s gifts are the same way, perfectly wrapped and taped. Dad’s gifts are a whole other story.

Dad’s wrapping is not pretty. Sure the gifts are great, but they are covered in layers of wrapping paper placed haphazardly and tape used more as a fixer upper than anchoring. The bow is used to cover up a hole in the paper and the ribbon is tied in an impossible to undo square knot on top of a double knot. Unwrapping the gift is a labyrinth of challenges. Other gifts are so poorly supported with tape that the gift just falls out of the wrapping paper which isn’t so bad because it improves your Unwrapping Efficiency. Dad says with every gift, “Sorry, I cannot wrap gifts too well.” But what he really means is that mom wouldn’t wrap his gifts so he did it last minute.

From all two of us at That’s So Dad we wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Pancha Ganapati, and of course a Happy Festivus. Enjoy the holidays with those close to you, especially deal ol’ Dad.

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