Thursday, February 23, 2012

#73 Paying the Bill

"So the bill split 4 ways + tip is $17.75 per person!" Okay that seems easy enough-you just pay with a $20 because that's all you have. Your friends count the money once...twice...a third time. "You guys, we're short" your friends look dumbfounded. How can that be? I just paid more! The mystery of paying the bill never stops when eating out as friends. How come this problem never happens when I go out to eat with my family? Oh that's right...because Dad always pays the bill.

Unlike eating with friends, a family meal out is handled in swift, and sometimes secretive motion when it comes to payment. Dad handles the bill. Always. Sometimes he might not even look at the total; Other times he can calculate tip and tax in his head to make sure it all added correctly. Sometimes you don’t even know the bill has been paid. Dad must have a secret bank account to pay for dinners. Dad shuffles through his giant wallet full of receipts and apparently coins to reach for his credit card. Visa and Dad must have some agreed partnership with how often it’s used.

Maybe it’s old fashion that Dad handles the check, but you never see mom object. Don't him and mom have a joint accnt? Why doesn't she ever pull out the credit card?Dad smiles to the waitress upon receiving the receipt; then he gives his autograph in a swift motion as if he's a rockstar used to it. Cursive is so cool when Dad does it. Just remember the lesson, in order to make paying for things quick and easy, bring Dad along.

Disclaimer: Only time you'll witness Dad not pay is when Grandpa pays. And that's just a Dad taking out his son. Seniority even exists in Dad world.



    Generational truth. Speak it.

    "If Grandpa goes, Grandpa pays." -Dad (aka Rockstar)

  2. Love this one. Especially the Grandpa pays part. Hahaha. As the wife of a paying dad, it's a joke between us. Yes we have a joint account but B. always says, "This is on me" or "I've got you covered, honey." It's like you're on a date and 20 years have not actually passed. Why this amuses us every time, I don't know. One of the mysteries of married life. Keep writing, David! You've got a gift.

  3. Great scheme! My father, he's pretty picky when it comes to expenses too. Itemizing everything. And why wouldn't he, heh; debts could come at the micro-spending that slip through the cracks. Next thing, they accrue, and are breaking down the fragile ground of sureness and security.