Thursday, May 10, 2012

#85: Fixin Stuff

Uh oh, Dad isn’t on the couch for his normal Sunday afternoon nap in between the massive breakfast and the massive meat grilling fest that happens when the weather is nice. Nope, Dad is going to work on his “chores”. That can only mean one thing, Dad is trying to fix something.

Whether it is that broken screen door or the constantly running toilet, Dad will always take a crack at fixing it before calling the experts. You know, the people who fix stuff for a living. Dad will make it look like he knows what he is doing, but in reality he is just going to take that lawnmower apart and hope he can put it back together. As long as it allows him to finish a six pack of beer in the process, he really doesn’t care.

Armed with his trusty tool belt and jean shorts, Dad has everything he needs. Hammer, screwdriver, duct tape (which will be used for everything), WD40 (also used for everything), space for previously mentioned beer, and of course way too many power tools than are needed. Does Dad really need a 75 horsepower jigsaw and diamond coated belt sander just to fix the lawn furniture? No. Is it important to have them. Of course it is, these are his toys.

Eventually Dad will come in to the house covered in sweat, grease, and blood cursing under his breath about the fresh burn on his hand. The old air conditioner is in pieces all over the garage and is as close to working as the day it fell out of a second story window into mom’s rose garden. All of his power tools need recharging and he has run out of beer. Looks like Dad is calling the fix-it man, which is how this story always ends. Unless of course you have one of those Dads who can fix anything, then odds are you are reading this in your three story tree house or your personal submarine Dad made out of pine wood.

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