#87: Golfing

Dad likes to think he is an athlete. He always talks about that one time he almost started at quarterback in high school and that time he hit a walk off home run in Little League. But nowadays with Dad’s bad knee, back, elbow, and/or neck he cannot be the competitor he “used” to be. That is where the “sport” of golf comes in to save the day. Now the writers here at TSD are golfers so we are not here to make fun of it. We are Dads in training and are learning the game so we can be prepared when we become Dads in the future.

Golf is a great activity for Dads because it combines a lot of the great aspects of life: being outdoors, being with other Dads where they complain about their kids, smoking and drinking at will, gambling, and of course minimal physical exercise. Dad isn’t playing at Augusta or Pebble Beach on the PGA so you know he is using a golf cart. That reduces the amount of walking by 98%, leaving only the five yard saunter to the tee box as the longest trek of the day. Of course Dad does burn off some calories fishing for his ball in the creek or chopping through Vietnam density brush when his slice comes into play.

Any game where Dad plays better with a drink or two in him is a special game. On the range Dad will complain about previously stated injury from high school and how it is making him hit the ball thin. But on the journey from the range to the first tee, Dad has an ice cold beer and unleashes his inner Arnold Palmer, hitting every green in regulation. Some frown upon this saying that drinking has no place on the golf course but if Dad has been hitting triple bogeys all day a cocktail is needed. And any place where it is accepted to drive a mini car with an open container is a place people want to be.

So don’t fret when Dad takes a weekend afternoon to hit the links. He just wants to be out in the fresh air hitting some balls. He just wants to do it away from the family where he can forget about being Dad. Out there he is just Walt, the man with the 300 yard drive. It is a magical place where Dad can disappear and justify that chicken fried steak for dinner because he got “exercise” on the course.