Thursday, October 11, 2012

#107: Pictures in His Wallet

As we have highlighted many many times on this site, there are tons of ways Dads can tell who else is a Dad. Whether it is the sweater vest, the huge prescription glasses or thick bushy moustache (if it's the 80s), Dads just know who is one of them. Now when Dads meet they need to do a symbolic exchange to prove their Dadness. That is when the wallet picture comes in handy.

Everyone always hated school picture day. It was always the day you had to wear a collar or a stupid tie to school and everyone made fun of you, even though they were all wearing dorky clothes too. But there is a reason for photo day besides mom being able to update your picture along the main stairway at home. It is so Dad can stuff his picture into his already gigantic wallet (probably doesn't take out the old one, increasing the wallet thickness) to whip out whenever he talks about you. So as he talks to his co-workers or new Dad friend about kids he will casually open up his wallet and the slide show begins.

There are two schools of thought on wallet pictures. The sane way would be to have a recent picture of all the kids and one family photo folded into a pocket of the wallet. But the usual Dad way is to have one of those plastic Jacob's Ladder things that contains a story of his kid's life. The one that unleashes a cascade of pictures that drag down to Dad's White New Balances. That way Dad can glow and gush about your tee ball game from ten years ago to the Starbucks cashier. Because we all know once you hit college, those pictures aren't going to change. It will be the same ones for years.

So try not to act too embarrassed when Dad whips out the wallet pictures. He just wants to show off his kids to the hostess, gushing about his Dadness. As we always say here at TSD, when you become a Dad you will do it too.

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