Thursday, April 11, 2013

#133: Galoshes

Spring is upon us which with it brings baseball, birds chirping, and days where rain never ends. How is Dad supposed to walk to the train for work or mulch the yard for the summer with all this precipitation? Well young man he just slips on his overshoes, his rain boots. Or what real Dads call them: galoshes.

Galoshes, for the uninitiated, are thick leather or rubber shoes you slip over your normal shoes so they don't get ruined. They are also another name for rain boots. In true Dad form, although he tends to look ridiculous in galoshes, he knows they are VERY practical. They gain bonus points because they also embarrass his kids when he runs errands in them What?? You expect me to walk through a wet parking lot WITHOUT my galoshes?? They usually are caked in mud from what ever project Dad made up in order to get away from the kids for a few hours. Usually something like digging a drain pipe, tilling the garden, or coaching an AYSO soccer game during a tsunami. They NEVER get washed off either since Dads see the mud as battle scars, something to compare with other Dads on the block as they discuss the virtues of manure for the rose bushes or compare notes on garage maintenance.

Dad may even have a supplemental pair of galoshes exclusively for rainy travel days. After spending all morning making Dad noises in the bathroom getting ready for work and splashing on that bottle of Old Spice aftershave that he bought when David Lee Roth was still in Van Halen, the last thing Dad wants is for the rain to ruin his commute. So of course he grabs the ol' umbrella, puts on his sweet trench coat, and slips on the galoshes to protect his tasseled loafers. It isn't too common when Dad drives, but if he takes the train you better believe galoshes are worn the second it even hints at spitting rain. Commuter trains in the morning are filled with galoshes, all identical with their thick black hides. Dads don't even acknowledge them they are so commonplace. The new Dad on the train will wonder why these weirdos wear shoes over their shoes, but he will learn the second he gets off the train and a cab soaks his Cole Haans. Veteran Dads will just shake their heads in his ignorance, he has so much to learn...