falling asleep in public places, you can definitely count on him making some new friends. Since you’re too busy ignoring Dad (because geez, so embarrassing), Dad talks to anyone within a 5 foot radius of him.
It’ll usually begin with a Dad-ism. “I wish my
bananas were THIS ripe! AM I RIGHT?!” So
embarrassing and yet the grocery cashier chuckled. And that’s when Dad
thinks he found his new best friend. And you’ll be stuck there for the next 30
minutes as he tells the same story over and over.
And then once they’ve become friends, Dad realizes he’s been
“Oh I’m sorry—this is my son. He wet the bed until he was 8.”
Dad is always set to embarrass you.
You’d think Dad would set a better example, considering how
many times he tells you not to talk to strangers. But do as Dad says, not as he
does. These interactions happen with anyone. Grocery cashiers, bank tellers,
waitresses, the random person walking their dog. Dad’s conversation skills are
non-discriminatory. If you are within earshot, he will converse with you. And
pray you don’t see anyone wearing the same or similar shirt as him. Because
that conversation will not be in the form of talking, but rather a bunch of
finger pointing and Fonzie like “Eeeeeyyyy”s.