Thursday, June 20, 2013

#143: Camping

As the days get longer, the weather hotter, and the clouds of mosquitoes larger Dads have a tendency to try to get everyone out of the house. "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, STOP WASTING IT BY PLAYING THAT NINTENDO GAME!" But he has hatched a plan for the weekend to get you outside, which will of course be revealed at the last possible moment, the whole family is going camping.

Dads live their weekdays chained to a desk, drinking mediocre coffee, while reviewing spreadsheets and going to boring meetings (us here at That's So Dad know this all too well). They want to get OUT on the weekends and camping is the exact opposite of the office. Where can he wear thick hiking socks jammed into Tevas, a huge floppy hat, and his hiking brace without looking like a total weirdo? The campsite! And no matter how much you don't want to be pulled away from your Playcube 64, fancy smartphone, Facespace, and Tweeter you are going camping and that is final!

Dads have this sense that they are all great outdoorsman, when most of them aren't. However it allows them to show off their skills in knot tying and tending to the campfire while also taking three hours to set up a tent. However, Dad will truly shine later as he roasts the perfect marshmallow and tells the scariest ghost story that happened in this. very. forest. Dads use camping to teach valuable life lessons and have deep discussions, because he knows you can't go anywhere. Common sayings on camp outs include: "Boy I wish my Dad took me camping when I was your age." "Now THAT'S a sunset!" "It's 4AM and the fish are biting, who wants to get out there!" and of course, "Aw it's only a little downpour, I am sure the rain will move right on in a bit." (Hint: it won't). Dadisms are passed out like Tylenol after an All-Dad basketball game.

So suck it up and go camping with Dad. You might just enjoy it after you get past the 15th horsefly bites you, numbing your hand enough that the 16th hurts only a little.

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