#136 Asking Logical Questions about Rap

After Dad has exposed you to the wonders of Jazz for the past hour, he finally gives you control of the car stereo. That is when you take the opportunity to blast some of your rebellious Rap and/or R&B. Dad doesn’t comprehend this bubble gum music. And while you embrace the beats, he is busy trying to understand the lyrics to make sure they aren’t offensive. 

That is when Dad pulls the ultimate Dad move: questions. You’re used to Dad questioning you at the dinner table, but his logical questions about rap songs are the best. Please find some example Dad questions below and see if you can figure out the song he is asking about.

So where did he get his start? And where is he now? (Answer)

Why would they forget about him? (Answer)

Why can't she remember her name? (Answer)

If it wasn’t him, who was it? (Answer)

What do you think Caroline did to him? (Answer)

What’s a boo? (Answer) 

Don’t bands want her to dance? (Answer)

Do you even know what he’s saying? (Answer: Any Pitbull song)

What are they even saying? (Answer: Any rap song)

Now Dad poses them as rhetorical questions, but expects straight answers. So next time you feel the urge to play your music around Dad, be ready to answer some questions.

#106: Telling You What He'd Do...

Did you watch the presidential debate last night? Chances are that Dad did. And while you remained confused as to what was actually being said, Dad was being stating what he would do:

“If I were president, I would be doing such a better job!” No matter if Dad likes or dislikes the current president, He guarantees he would do a better job. But in true political fashion, Dad doesn’t say what he would do. But that doesn’t prevent Dad from sharing his opinion. 

Much like a Monday morning quarterback, Dad appears wisest when sharing what he’d do in hindsight. “Well what I would’ve done…” “If I had been in your position…” are muttered over black coffee & bran cereal. It is this very Dad nature that makes us turn to Dad for advice. It is the reason his dinner time questions and idioms blow our minds and clarify life lessons without saying anything at all.

Dad doesn’t reserve telling you what he’d do for when you ask, rather he’ll impose his way of thinking before you even realize it. Dad is the coach you never asked for, making Dear Abbey useless. “I’d doubleknot those shoes if I were you.” ”I would’ve stretched more…” “I’d give your mother a kiss if I were you.” “I’d apologize to your teacher if I were you.” Guess what Dad? You’re not me. But always take Dad’s suggestions to heart before dismissing it, because Dad often has a point--He's already done it once when He was your age.

#10 Dinner Time Questions

After a long day at school, the only thing to look forward to is a nice meal at home. You just want to get your homework over with, eat food, and then watch Teen Mom on MTV. Dad has a different agenda.

See, family dinners are a precious time for Dad. He can use it for family announcements or a time to try out his newest jokes. Most often though, Dad uses dinner to unwind from his day by hearing about yours. And he does so in the most precise of ways: through his questioning. Dad will ask you in the same manner everyday how your day went, but somehow you always think it's going to be something new. For example, Dad: "Sooooo...how was everyone's day?" Sometimes Dad will get straight to the point: "Full Report Everybody!" or "How was school today?" Other times Dad does it in a subtle nature "So is there something you want to tell me?" Is there something I want to tell him? What does he know? Why am I so nervous?

Dad knows all, but he simply wants to hear it from you. These dinners are what makes Dad, well, Dad. He gets to hear how you are doing while giving his two cents. That's when you start to play with your food while keeping your head down. Dad explains how when he was your age (What was Dad like at my age?) that he handled things differently. Of course you did, Dad.

You can plead with mom for Dad to stop all you want with those puppy dog eyes, but mom knows Dad isn't done asking questions. "How is that friend of yours doing?" Dad asks. Which friend is Dad talking about? You realize Dad doesn't even know any of your friends. Dad is referring to the kid you were next to on the curb when Dad picked you up from practice the other day. "He's fine." It is important for Dad to know your friends. That's called good parenting.

Lastly, Dad leans over and swabs his bread over your leftover sauce. This is the signal Dad is pleased with the answers for today. Dad grants you permission to go about your life: "You may be excused." But now you're just stuck in the headlights pondering your own thoughts. How did Dad just get me to talk about my whole day when nothing eventful even happened? Oh Dad has his ways. He's the best interviewer you know. Better prep up for tomorrow's dinner.