Thursday, August 30, 2012

#101: "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!"

Uh oh, now you're done it. You have been getting on Dad's nerves all day by making a racket throughout the house and it looks like knocking over mom's favorite vase is the straw that broke the camel's back. Dad is done yelling, Dad is done negotiating. He then bellows those four terrible words: "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!"

Like a prisoner on his way to Guantanamo Bay, head down, eyes closed, you slink off to your dungeon without any knowledge of how long your sentence will last. You might as well be in the Dark Ages because there is nothing fun in your room. Unless you are one of those lucky spoiled kids who has a TV in his room, this is gonna be a long ride.

Dads have to have a ton of patience because maintaining order of a pack of wild dogs aka toddlers is brutal. His tactics range from the quick shout to the snap-and-point. But the ultimate weapon besides the Weapon of Mass Punishment (aka grounding) is the banishment to the room. Much like the French exiling Napoleon to St. Helena, there are no means of escape and will be used as a last resort. Dad tells his child to "think about what he has done" while Dad tries to figure out what to do. In reality, Dad wants some peace and quiet and a beer or two. The kid is left to going through old picture books and being as quite as possible so as to not stir the beast within Dad.

Dads love their kids with all their hearts, that is a fact. But sometimes punishment is needed to steer a kid in the right direction or just to give Dad a few moments of silence. Although it hurts in the moment, being sent to your room is really just a mind game. Stay strong little man, just page through that old Calvin and Hobbes book until it is time for dinner. It will be alright.

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