Thursday, August 23, 2012

#100: "The Works"

Dad is cooking tonight! Excitement rolls over you because Dad only cooks massive Sunday breakfasts or grills out. But because it isn’t Sunday morning and Dad’s grill is out of propane, that means Dad is taking you out for dinner! And let’s be honest, that means you’re heading to the local burger/hot dog joint for some grease on grease.

As you ponder if you want a cheeseburger or chicken fingers, Dad has already placed his order with the owner with a single nod. “Just gimme the works” Dad stammers out. Dad doesn’t need to choose between mustard, ketchup, relish, mayonnaise and special sauce because why limit yourself? The only veggie decision he needs to make is whether to have onions or grilled onions (hint: real men get grilled onions). 

The works is a classic Dad order. Much like he devours your leftovers off your plate, Dad devours burgers and hot dogs that have more toppings than your ice cream sundae. The food arrives overflowing from its plastic red basket. Somewhere underneath the peppers, cheese and chili are some fries. I guess this is why Dad never orders chili fries. When your regular cheeseburger with extra pickles arrives, it looks like a happy meal compared to Dad’s behemoth. And yet, Dad is able to finish off your last fries at the end of the meal.

Dads have a developed pallet for ordering “The Works.” Those kind of ingredients aren’t for the faint of heart. While Scotch puts hair on Dad’s chest, “The Works” puts a smile on his face…until the heartburn sets in.

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