Dad is cooking tonight! Excitement rolls over you because Dad only cooks massive Sunday breakfasts or grills out. But because it isn’t Sunday morning and Dad’s grill is out of propane, that means Dad is taking you out for dinner! And let’s be honest, that means you’re heading to the local burger/hot dog joint for some grease on grease.
As you ponder if you want a cheeseburger or chicken fingers,
Dad has already placed his order with the owner with a single nod. “Just gimme
the works” Dad stammers out. Dad doesn’t need to choose between mustard,
ketchup, relish, mayonnaise and special sauce because why limit yourself? The
only veggie decision he needs to make is whether to have onions or grilled
onions (hint: real men get grilled onions).
The works is a classic Dad order. Much like he
devours your leftovers off your plate, Dad devours burgers and hot dogs
that have more toppings than your ice cream sundae. The food arrives
overflowing from its plastic red basket. Somewhere underneath the peppers,
cheese and chili are some fries. I guess
this is why Dad never orders chili fries. When your regular cheeseburger
with extra pickles arrives, it looks like a happy meal compared to Dad’s
behemoth. And yet, Dad is able to finish off your last fries at the end of the
meal.
Dads have a developed pallet for ordering “The Works.” Those
kind of ingredients aren’t for the faint of heart. While Scotch puts
hair on Dad’s chest, “The Works” puts a smile on his face…until the heartburn
sets in.
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